hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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