Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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