PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize