i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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