I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
And then the night went full on bisexual.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
