no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
