Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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