we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
