Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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