My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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