i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize