NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
