how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
