My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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