Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
