You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
