We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
