girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Randomize
