oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
