so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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