Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
