Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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