I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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