There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
