TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
this beer tastes like vomit already
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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