i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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