i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Randomize
