8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
