uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
