During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
