I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
