Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize