sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
so much tequila, so little girl.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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