those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
