hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
