He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
