It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
