I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
