Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
