uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I CAN MOONWALK!
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
