sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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