Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
