I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
