Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize