road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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