I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
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