remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
