good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
