dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
