Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
