i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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