just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
