I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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