If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
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