I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
