things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
