And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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