How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
