And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
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