I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
