i was born a porn star she said
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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