Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
