Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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