Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
