So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
