I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
