Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize