u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
