He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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