she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
what day is it and did you see me today?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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